Ramblings

One of the things I dislike about myself is the fact that I wait until Sunday afternoon when God and everybody is out at Wal-Mart, Target and wherever, before I decide to finally go. Reading Group starts tomorrow and I may or may not be prepared, ie: I can't find my clipboard, can't remember my student's name (yes just one student and I can't remember, how did I remember 100+ students' names last semester?), don't know if I printed everything and don't really care.

Tomorrow just might be the never ending day. I have class, reading group, meetings at 2 and 4, gotta squeeze in study time for a huge test Tuesday and I have to check up with my insurance company. When hurricane season starts I always call them up and have a friendly chat to make sure I'm paid up, my coverage is what it's supposed to be, and that in the event that my house collapses, they will rent a mudboat and some waders and come on down as soon as it's legally permissible to enter the parish.

Weekend, sweet weekend

I didn't do much this weekend, reading clinic starts Monday and I got a 1st grader which makes me very happy. Anything over 3rd grade freaks me out for some reason but I guess everyone has their preference. I know some of my classmates wouldn't teach K if it was the only job they were offered.

I hit the children's book lottery tonight though. I went over to my mom's and dug in the garage to start gathering books. I had no idea that she had that many. If I do K or 1st I won't have to get anything before school starts and I can just order Scholastic a few times throughout the year.


J commented the other night that I was out of beer and how unusual that was. Like any good Louisiana girl, there is always a Bud Light or 2 in the fridge and most likely something from Abita as well. On a good day, I've also got wine for the none beer drinkers. As far as drinking goes, I don't discriminate. If it's got alcohol in it, it's fine by me. Even though college is over, a good Natty Light or Keystone doesn't bother me. I decide tonight to go to the store and I get my 12 pack and a bottle of Cab. As always, I whip my ID out before they ask. I worked in the service industry and I know how annoying it is to stand there and wait while someone digs for ID. Store Clerk Man stands there staring at me and the ID for a good 2 minutes before I start rattling off the info on my license. He says, "ooh honey you lost weight". I reply, "no, I just had a terrible haircut that made my face look fat." Just ring me up for my damn beer so I can get out of here.

First Day of Summer Class

The summer semester is going to be tough. On the first day, we were given 2 assignments. The reading clinic hours are going to work into the specified class time so it's nothing extra thank goodness. I finished my first assignment but I had to stop and watch The Hills and The City. I've always loved The Hills but I do think it's getting time to wrap things up. Speaking of my guilty t.v. pleasures, Housewives wasn't the drama fest I expected. Things were rather calm when Danielle showed up at the benefit.


I've mentioned before that we take a canoe trip or 2 each summer. I've always wanted to go tubing in New Braunfels but found a closer alternative that sounds pretty fun. It's called Tiki Tubing and seems much more relaxing than having to paddle. It's about two hours away from here and it's another hour from New Orleans so that would be a perfect start to a four day weekend. I'm not going to be able to take a major vacay this summer so I'm trying to cram as many little weekend getaways as I can. The planning takes away some of the stress of the fact that I still don't know about a job for next year. I'm not going to allow myself to mention it here anymore, because I truly feel like I have to "let go and let God".

And so it ends again

Like an afternoon summer storm, my little break is over. I start summer class tomorrow. This is the last class before I start teaching and we're going to be working with a summer reading program and focusing on RTI and remedial reading tools. We start a week earlier than regular university classes, so the first week is lecture on the diagnostic tools we'll be using. This is the part I don't care for, I love the students and working with them but 8:55-11:35 each day of lecture time is not going to make my happy. I got a lot of the things done around the house that I needed to do so that is a blessing but I feel like another week would do wonders for me.

It's Over

Tomorrow, I go for my final check-out in what was the hardest semester ever. I've spent the past 4 months having God and everybody watch me teach, jumping through whatever hoops I've been asked to jump through, all while maintaining a smile on my face when I wanted to cry. I made nothing less than a B, have managed to impress every single one of my professors, and have done a great job of proving myself. It was a crazy ride. Some days I would teach K lessons at one school, then teach 3rd grade that afternoon.

Now the hand-holding is over. I've gone through this journey with a support group behind me but when that door shuts on the first day of school, I'll have to rely on myself and what I've learned in order to make it work in my classroom.

For now, I'm not going to stress over having a job next year. I know the economy is bad and there are going to be cuts. I won't know anything most likely until mere days before school starts and worst case scenario, I get called in after school begins. At this point, I have to let go and let God. I can't spend my entire summer worrying about something I can't control.

Tomorrow after check out, I'm going to the nearest drive thru daiquiri place and ordering the largest, quad shot of whatever I want. Then, I'm going to put on my bathing suit and not care that it doesn't look as good on as last year. I'm going to sit by the pool until it gets dark.

Check in

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I made sure to wear plenty of green so I wasn't constantly getting pinched by kindergartners all day long. I turned in a major school project this week so my load is getting a little lighter. I still need to do observation hours and hopefully I'll have them all beat by April 1st.

I really don't have anything interesting to report so I'll probably defer back to taking a break for awhile. 3 CASA kids went home this week so I'm down to 6 now instead of 9. We are dealing with a child at school who is having auditory hallucinations so things have been interesting lately. I'm only with them 1 full day a week so I don't experience any frustration but its really heartbreaking because she is a sweet kid and very smart.

Long time no see

I feel like I've been away from blogging for awhile. School as usual, has been catching up with me and I'm slowly finding a balance. I got to do a few more social things with the Superbowl and Mardi Gras so I can't complain about being stuck at home too much.

This weekend started out great when I didn't have to work my normal Thursday and Friday night shifts. Then on Saturday I woke up sick with no voice. I did manage to go get my hair cut but other than that, I rested most of the day. Today I played catch up and I feel bad I had to cancel dinner Saturday night with D (he was going to cook) but I just don't feel like we've gotten to the "you can deal with me when I'm super sick, whiny and look like crap" stage.

I'm working on my first lesson to be evaluated by a supervisor on Friday. We are going to plant seeds and draw a prediction of what they will look like by the end of the school year. I'm incredibly nervous but very thankful that she is coming first thing in the morning. The kids behave better and I have less time to freak out. I have to go finish a few things then get myself to bed and hope and pray I feel better tomorrow.

Backwards in High Heels

I feel like I'm goin 90 to nothin right now. Tomorrow I have class, school board meeting, observation then work. Friday I was called to court but I have to teach all day and I'm already behind in hours so I had to brief someone to send in my place which took longer than the whole proceeding will on Friday. I've been on the phone in between classes, while peeing, running in the rain and I finally have my Blackberry unattached from my ear. I turned in some book reviews that are all marked up with corrections so I have to work on all that this weekend. Seriously, the are worth 5 points each, let's not get crazy. At least D hasn't bailed on me yet because I'm so crazy.

Now let's breathe and focus on the good. I wasn't at school today so I got to wear sweat pants. At least I don't still have my iPhone so I can get my email wherever I am and get it out of the way. Two goods are enough for today.

Back to School

Today was the 1st day of school. I'm not going to pretend this semester is going to be a walk in the park. Today I was still healing from a cosmetic procedure on Monday so the day was extra long and uncomfortable. On the plus side, one of my professors is the principal at a local elementary school (hello brown-nose my way into a job!).

I can and will get through it. I'm only working Thursdays and Fridays at the Land of Alcohol. Next week, when I get my shit together, we will return to our regularly scheduled programming on SAST.

Weekend Recap

I got a little stroke of luck last night. I came into work and wasn't scheduled so I happily left. It was a fight night anyway so I'm sure I didn't miss much other than some drunk meatheads in Affliction gear. I had dinner at my parents then headed to meet ex roomie for some drinks. We had really bad falling out that lasted a year or so and just reconnected but haven't really spent any time together. We went to a small local bar and I got to meet her new bf, who is definitely a sweetheart and amazing for her. The Patron and Tequila Rose got to both of us so we stopped for food and her bf drove us home. No hangover this morning thank God.

It's Sunday Night Clean Night so I'm headed off to get that under control before bed. Tomorrow is errand day and 2 weeks til classes start. I'm so ready but worried about my work schedule. I'm taking 5 classes plus doing all of my observation hours, trying to attend a Bible Study once a week and I don't know how I'm going to squeeze work into all of that too. I'm confident that things are going to work out, I've come too far.

Not so nieghborly

Darn you Bed Bath and Beyond for sending me not one, not two, but THREE coupons in the mail today. I do not need to be spending anymore money! I also am not very neighborly today because I saw 2 guys outside measuring the concrete pad next door at an empty lot and I glared at them. I don't want anymore neighbors! I think that if they come back I'll tell them that it floods here all the time and the cows in the field have a tendency to escape and attack.

After tonight's final, I have one more left. It's almost over.

Almost there

Last night I decided I was gonna get domestic and clean the whole house. I swept and mopped everything and started washing the million loads of clothes I have to do. Then I crashed. I slept most of today to recover. I haven't been feeling so good either and I hope I'm not getting sick. If the weather would make up it's mind I'd be ok but that's Louisiana for you.

My portfolio is gonna be adorable. I hit up the Dollar Tree and got some cute printer paper that has letters and numbers on it and I got a book of stickers to decorate some of my things with. Just 2 more days and it'll be turned in. Everything is just flying by so fast. Work has been really slow the past few weeks so I'm thinking about looking for another job. I'm trying not to jump the gun and over-stress though.

School

My classroom observations went well. The 1st graders were very good and they all had amazing handwriting. The Pre-K kids were driving me insane because I got the last activity before lunch but all in all it was a good day. I went to class after observing then spent 2 hours in the lab working on the Promethean assignments that I had to turn in. All of the classrooms at the school I went to had the boards because of a tech grant, so it was nice to see them actually put to practical use. The teachers used them mostly for spelling words and putting Brain Pop videos on. The Pre-K class used it for their alphabet songs.

My eyes are burning because I'm so tired and I still have 3 more portfolio assignments to type up and then I can put that project to rest. Thank God the semester is almost over because I'm running out of steam fast.

Stress

"When life gives you lemons, get the tequila and salt" Today was a pretty high stress day for me. I have to go to court tomorrow for my case. It's completely unplanned and there are some major kinks thrown into it. I've been running around all day making nice and getting the facts. I know someone is going to end up upset tomorrow and it's going to get tense. Then, I had to take Tahyo to the vet. Thank God she is healthy and only goes once a year because she is a mess at the vet. The closed in exam room freaks her out. After I did all my running around I was 30 minutes late to class and about to pee my pants when I got to school. When I got there, I found out the portfolio is due a week earlier than previously discussed. There goes my weekend, as if I had one anyway other than slinging drinks all night just to make ends meet.

The up side is, it's almost over. I'm doing amazing in all of my classes so far and get to observe at a great school on Monday. Next semester isn't going to be the hell I thought it was and I'm a little ways away from an official nervous breakdown. I'll make it as long as I remember to keep breathing. Stress will eat me alive if I let it and damnit, I'm not giving in.

Thankful

I got formally accepted into Teacher Ed today and registered for Spring. All I have to say about that is, when I'm finished, I will have lost about about 50 lbs from running around like a chicken with its head cut off and not being able to afford food. It's ok though, I really don't have a choice and it'll all be over before I know it. Life goes on, it's gonna get bad before it gets better.

I am thankful for the fact that I have a roof over my head that no one can take away from me. It may not be straight out of Southern Living but it's my "mansion in the marsh". I'm thankful for the fact that I am able to go to school and further my education and in 6 months, I will have 2 perfectly useful degrees. I'm thankful for the fact that my student loans are on deferment and I will get some forgiveness when I start teaching. I'm thankful that my health is good, as I don't and won't have insurance until I start teaching. I'm thankful for the 5 minutes of contentment I get a day before I start pressuring myself all over again.

Boo UPS

Apparently my Bare Minerals order was delivered while I was at home this morning and I don't have it. Tomorrow after class I guess I have to chase it down. I'm officially exhausted and have a test tomorrow. I spent this morning fighting with the Promethean Board for about an hour before I turned my lesson in. Next week, I have to observe for what feels like a million hours. I still haven't gotten my costume together for work on Saturday. I know, such a slacker. I just don't have time for anything other than school right now since it's the end of the semester. I've been kicking around a few easy costume ideas. It has to be something I can work in easily. I thought about being a granny, all I need is slippers, a moo moo and a wig.

The weather is supposed to get bad tomorrow and Friday. Last week, the water got pretty high out here. Hopefully this won't affect my test tomorrow. We had to cancel class last Thursday because of all of it.

Stressing

I got out of work tonight, took my online quiz and went to dinner with my parents at Texas Roadhouse. Last night, I got all domestic and made chili dogs and baked a cake. I ate one piece, then Tahyo proceeded to lick all of the icing off so I had to toss it. It's just as well, I don't need to be eating more than one piece anyway. I'm dreading tomorrow night at work but I have to keep telling myself it'll be ok.

BFF is sick so there will be no hot mess action going on tonight. I need to finish typing all of my essays anyway. Next week, I've got to visit some schools and turn in my portfolio. I can't wait to start teaching.

I've had problems with panic attacks lately. They run in my family; my grandmother and aunt have had problems with them. Last night I had one out of the blue. Normally, I know one is coming because I can feel that I'm working myself into a tizzy and sometimes I can stop and relax before it gets to that point. Last night, I couldn't. I know that everything is going to be ok but I still worry about finishing school, and whether or not I'll get a teaching job. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and if things ever got terribly bad, I wouldn't hesitate to strap on a gun and badge and work patrol if I had to. Police officers are always needed. I know I need to "let go and let God" but I can be such a control freak at times. It didn't help that at dinner tonight, my dad was saying how my cousin took a leave position teaching at a middle school and now can't find a job. It doesn't help that I have ADD and my mind runs 90 to nothin all the time. Sometimes I think that it's a good idea that I don't really have to much time to stop and freak out otherwise I'd be in the crazy house for sure.

Short and Sweet

I found out Thursday that I passed my Praxis. The giant weight is officially off my shoulders now!

I really don't have the energy to write anything else because I'm disappointed with LSU tonight. They sure sucked.

First Test Grade In

I got an 88 on my test! I did so much better than I thought. 2 points away from an A but I'll deal. Tomorrow I have to get dog food and clean out the Yukon then I'm going to go over my Praxis work 1 more time and let God do the rest. I'm not as nervous and stressed as I have been, and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with myself after it's over since it's consumed me for so long. I refuse to stress myself with packing anything tomorrow for the Houston trip but I am going to get what little bit I have to wash done so Saturday I can pack quickly and get on the road. The forecast shows rain every day into next week. Fabulous. Hopefully I'll get to do some shopping in Houston.

Miss Anti-Social

I wasn't in the spirit for college football but I am now. Of course, my team is LSU. I'm trying to find a few weekends to get some tickets after I get the stress that is the Praxis over with. I decided today that after the test, I'm going to head to Houston and take a little break. I don't have class next Monday, so hopefully I'll be refreshed when I come back. The next weekend is my birthday, so at least the things I have to do now revolve more around my social life than school. It's a much needed break.

I would really love to go to the Chelsea Premium Outlet while I'm in Houston. The outlet is about an hour away in Cypress. They have Burberry, Coach, Kate Spade, BCBG, True Religion, Juicy, 3 sunglasses places. But we'll see. I still can't really let myself think about relaxing at this point. Thank God, tomorrow night is my only scheduled shift.