Stressing

I got out of work tonight, took my online quiz and went to dinner with my parents at Texas Roadhouse. Last night, I got all domestic and made chili dogs and baked a cake. I ate one piece, then Tahyo proceeded to lick all of the icing off so I had to toss it. It's just as well, I don't need to be eating more than one piece anyway. I'm dreading tomorrow night at work but I have to keep telling myself it'll be ok.

BFF is sick so there will be no hot mess action going on tonight. I need to finish typing all of my essays anyway. Next week, I've got to visit some schools and turn in my portfolio. I can't wait to start teaching.

I've had problems with panic attacks lately. They run in my family; my grandmother and aunt have had problems with them. Last night I had one out of the blue. Normally, I know one is coming because I can feel that I'm working myself into a tizzy and sometimes I can stop and relax before it gets to that point. Last night, I couldn't. I know that everything is going to be ok but I still worry about finishing school, and whether or not I'll get a teaching job. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and if things ever got terribly bad, I wouldn't hesitate to strap on a gun and badge and work patrol if I had to. Police officers are always needed. I know I need to "let go and let God" but I can be such a control freak at times. It didn't help that at dinner tonight, my dad was saying how my cousin took a leave position teaching at a middle school and now can't find a job. It doesn't help that I have ADD and my mind runs 90 to nothin all the time. Sometimes I think that it's a good idea that I don't really have to much time to stop and freak out otherwise I'd be in the crazy house for sure.